In Memoriam: Amazon Payments

Today the lights on Milenomics have been dimmed in honor of Amazon Payments leaving us.  What follows is a Eulogy/Debriefing for her:

Funeral

My friends, it is truly sad that we come together this day to remember our dear friend, Amazon Paments.  Many of you might have expected me to give this eulogy sooner. Part of me was in denial. I didn’t want to believe that our friend would actually leave us. I was sure that something at the last minute would change.  That life would be breathed back into her.

But alas, today I woke and realized that Amazon Payments was indeed gone. Amazon Payments, who some of us affectionately nicknamed “AP” had breathed her last breath, run her last credit cards.  She left us at 12:01AM, October 13, 2014.

AP Dead

You always think an old friend will be there, to drain your Gift cards, or hit spending bonuses, until one day they’re…gone. That day, my friends, is today, and it is not a day to treat as unimportant.

The loss of AP *is* a huge deal.  Sure other friends might bring you more miles, and new friends should be added into our lives every day.  But AP was there for so long.  We all leaned on her as a crutch during hard times. She never let us down.

AP, for a whole new generation you WERE their first friend in this game.  You were that first taste, first free “hit” of a drug that they later became hooked on. The cliché is that “no one forgets their first,” and you will not be an exception to this. You will not be forgotten.

My History with AP

I met AP years ago, and if you did as well you remember how exciting meeting her was.   We had lost a friend at the US Mint, and she filled the void. She freed us to apply for credit cards and receive bonuses we usually wouldn’t have been able to attain.

But that wasn’t all she did. AP was committed to many different philanthropic goals; most notably lining our pockets with money and miles. In a world where we were being bullied by Paypal and the like AP represented something different, and new. There was even talk that AP would someday supplant Paypal, and that AP could overthrow the regime of the evil ebay empire.

Could AP really have taken down Ebay and Paypal?

I like to think that the answer to that question is yes. It is entirely possible that AP represented so much of a threat to the status quo that we had to lose her. I’d even argue that she was successful in some small way in that regime change.  Sure enough, as we eulogize AP here today, word has just leaked out that the unthinkable has happened; the Paypal/Ebay republic has been broken. You Did it AP, you did it. I just wish  AP could have lived to see the end of what she started.

AP, your courage to fight the good fight, and to reduce the fees charged to us down to nothing will never be forgotten.

Who among us hasn’t hit a spending threshold thanks to AP? Or drained those horrible Univision cards which only process as Credit?  Who I ask has spent the last three plus years without buying American express Gift Cards and then running them through AP? Not one of us in this room can claim that our life would have been richer, our mileage balances fuller without AP.

AP you were the steward who led so many by the hand. YOU earned them their first 12k miles from the comfort of their home. You helped countless people travel above their means.  Today we thank you, wherever you are, for all you did for us, all the while never asking for a penny in return.

Rest in Peace Amazon Payments.  Vaya con Dios.

Remembrances:

I also want to take a moment to remember the good times:

When AP took a flight somewhere:

 

AP, Whenever I looked at this photo I always thought you knew we were just using you for miles, but that it made you happy for us to be happy.

Whenever I looked at this photo I always thought you knew we were just using you for miles.

Or that time she laid down in bed wither her ipad:

Amazon Payments 1

Look how happy she was in this photo. Maybe she was reading the made up reasons for sending $1,000 we wrote to her?

She was probably processing so many gift cards when this picture was  taken. *Sniff*

*Sniff*

Oh…ItoldmyselfIwouldn’tcry!

*gasp*

I’m  verklempt.

Talk amongst yourselves.

I’ll give you a topic: Amazon Payments… great way to earn miles, or greatest way to earn miles?

Discuss.

Thank You for Coming

This concludes the formal Eulogy, please share your memories of the departed here so we can grieve together.

In lieu of flowers I’ve been told to ask that we focus on not hoarding miles, and try to be more efficient in our churn.  I think AP would have wanted it that way.